Is "Being Yourself" Bad Advice?

Darren Li '29

Picture this: In school, Bob could prioritize his unique strengths more, though that is yet to be discovered. Or, he could follow whatever clubs that his friends are joining and constantly enroll in those competitions valued as “Ivy League pass”. In these crossroads, whether Bob should “be himself” has become a point of contention. This essay will examine the effectiveness of that advice and argue that “being yourself” remains more valuable than abandoning the idea altogether.

The quality of uniqueness is quintessential for who we are and our identity A person’s behavior, values, and even accent create a self that is never fully identical to another. Walking down the street, one may see countless pedestrians, yet only a few stand out and capture attention. Is it solely their appearance? Or is it that a simple greeting can spark a conversation that develops further? Imagine humans all being identical, like robots with no soul or agency. In such a world, friendships would be arbitrary and meaningless. Uniqueness, therefore, is not only desirable but essential.

Common interests may draw people together, but interactions are only meaningful because each individual approaches one another from a distinct perspective. Without individuality, communication itself would lose purpose.

This is not merely theoretical but also evident in everyday life. Consider the difference between chatting with AI and calling a friend. The former may provide useful information, but the latter offers emotional support. Human uniqueness then becomes irreplaceable.

However, if this one-of-a-kind nature is deeply inherent, why is it that it received plenty of criticism?

It boils down to individuality’s tangible impact on people. Notably, the phrase “be yourself” connotes that human soul is pure, stable, and indisputable, while in fact that the very same humanity is inconsistent and susceptible to external influences. Humans act differently depending on location, in front of different people, and at different time periods of their lives. 

The truth is, it is almost impossible to NOT to change one’s view under the society’s hold, especially when globalization and mass media polarize beliefs and push opinions to the extreme. Hence, in the status quo, one thing needs to be done, and be it done effectively, that is—adaption. 

People act in opposing manners not out of hypocrisy, but out of the instinct that they derived from animals—the ability to absorb new information and mold their views. According to the Cognitive Dissonance Theory, people feel discomfort when they hold conflicting beliefs, particularly about themselves. 

To reduce this discomfort and the accompanying inconsistency, people will often change their beliefs or invent rationalizations to justify their behavior. Although this can lead to seemingly illogical or contradictory actions, it acts as an expression of vulnerability but also flexible in values. As such,  it is not hard to realize that blindly “being yourself” may stop personal growth while fixing oneself to an adamant—often stubborn and even incorrigible—belief. Moreover, a number of people utilize the narrative of “being yourself” to falsely justify their arrogance, impertinence, and laziness.

With that, what makes the advice “be yourself” still relevant and desirable?

The key is to note that the impulse to imitate others often stems not from shallow copying, but rather from genuine resonance. People start learning instruments because they are captivated by music or believe in its power to influence others. They create videos because they resonate with online trends. At times, imitation may even arise from boredom or limited creativity, pushing people to borrow existing ideas. 

External influence is like clothing: the more one imitates, the thicker the layers become. Outwardly, the appearance may change, but the inner self remains intact. Alterations in behavior or style do not erase personal integrity. Thus, the influence of others is rarely as harmful as it is portrayed.

Regardless, the advice to “be yourself” still holds value. While broadening views and probing social interactions play a significant role, individuality is the lighthouse that guide our each and every decision and motivates human’s non-stopping self-improvement.  

Independence is intrinsically — and will ultimately be — coupled with openness to knowledge and content. Next time, when choosing a club to dedicate yourself to, you can glance over the members, you can ask your friends for their opinions, but the central determining factor should always be your heart, your soul, and your one and only agency.